He sat by the edge of the river and watched the infinite flow of water, as it moved slowly, calmly down from one end to the other.
It was a cool, fall evening, the dew from recent rain having left the ground damp and cold. But he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all. He surveyed the ground around him, the endless amount of leaves scattered around, most having become soggy from the earlier downpour, their texture soft and mushy.
He turned back and watched the river. It was growing dark but he didn’t care. The evening pleased him, even if there wasn’t much happening, even if the sky was darkening, the clouds shifting from grey to ominous. He was content with it all.
He was alone, completely alone, all except for a small boat shop farther along the riverbank. It was closed of course. No one would be canoeing at this time. No one would even be here at this time.
He suddenly had the inclination to walk towards the shop. He got up from his spot on the damp ground and began the slow walk along the riverbank, ensuring that he didn’t trip or fall in.
He listened to the sounds around him, the crashing of the water against the riverbank, before the soft waves were flung back into the body of water. He heard the insects, the crickets chirping away near him. It was a comfortable sound, a sound that made him enjoy the experience ever more. It felt like something out of a movie, as if his experience wasn’t entirely real.
He continued along the sandy shore, his shoes squelching in the muddy ground as he finally reached the boat shop. As expected it was closed, the door shut, the canoes and boats closed off to the public. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to find by coming here, but here he was.
Suddenly he noticed a canoe just past the boat shop. It seemed to have been forgotten, left aside. He cautiously walked up to it and examined it. It was a dark red wooden canoe, the size small, just enough for two people.
Suddenly the thoughts returned to him, the thoughts he had worked so hard to shut out. The image reappeared. He remembered her. His girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. The one he would always love, and always had loved.
He remembered that early morning summer day. The two of them had waken up early, had a quick breakfast and had then headed out to the local lake. There were dozens of others there, couples, families, individuals renting canoes, kayaks and other various boats.
The two of them approached a boat shop much like the one he saw now and rented a two person canoe. Slowly but carefully they rowed their way to the middle of the lake and stopped soaking it all in. They were all alone, the two of them, just chatting and enjoying the company of each other.
“I love you.”
“I love you too”, he responded.
Now he stood here by the riverbank, the sunshine was gone, the warmth was gone, all he saw around him was the cold, the darkness, the dampness as if his current setting were a direct comparison of his current life.
He continued to miss her, he would always miss her, even if she was now happy with another man. There was nothing that would change how he felt about her, nothing he could do. Even when he shut away his thoughts, his feelings, they came back with a vengeance.
He looked up and saw the moon, the now clear moon, the clouds shaded around it. He wondered what it would be like to be up there, to escape the world around it. It truly was a pleasant sight.
He sighed and continued along the riverbank, the conflicting thoughts and feelings fighting each other in his mind. He would find peace eventually. He knew that. But he still loved her.
